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THE LAST PRONG

ADRIFT FOR SIX MONTHS!

THEY DON'T LOOK AT THE FACE

I was stuck adrift for six months, twenty days, 18 hours, nineteen minutes and thirty two seconds. These exact figures come from the Portuguese fishing vessel that found me adrift. Though I spoke no Portuguese, my deteriorated body was communication enough that I had had a trip through hell and needed help bad!

What started out as a simple two day trip from Catalina island to the mainland turned into a six month night mare that I could not awake from. I had open sores that were wet with pus, all over my body from sitting on the hard wood deck 24 hours a day, in hopes that a ship would see me and my damaged sailboat. My lips were cracked and bled. Every time I tried to wipe the ocean spray from them, my hand would come away with a stinging, salt crimson stain.

I had lost over one hundred pounds and wondered if I would ever recover from such a low point. The few fish I managed to catch made me sick and I would projectile vomit continuously. I went without sleep for days because of seasickness and the delusions and hallucinations I got from sipping salt water.

At one point I sliced off the tip of my finger for bait. With the blood dripping from the fresh amputation into the water, I managed to hook a small fish only to have it yanked away by a shark who suddenly showed up from out of nowhere! I sucked on my bleeding finger and found my thirst quenched for a short while. I wondered if I could gain any nutrients by eating my own finger tips. or maybe stay alive by sacrificing one foot for a life saving meal.

My first trial of drinking my own urine left me with stomach cramps for weeks. Then the blessed rain came and I managed to collect enough water to drink my fill and save some for the next couple of days. Well, then it was two months later and still no rain. In my delirium one day I was praying to God to give me the strength to make it through another day when a miracle occurred! A school of flying fish crossed my wake and several of those blessed creatures landed in my boat. They were not very palatable but I managed to suck enough fluids from their bodies to keep me alive for a couple of weeks! Then just when it seemed I was to give up another body appediture to relieve starvation, I saw the Portuguese vessel and they saw me.

A special thanks to all the people who have influenced me to write crazy fictional stories like this.

LEGS, LEGS, LEGS

I sail me boat over seven seas

I look for my sweetheart every port I be

She got to have the look, she got to have the charm

To make a man prouda, on his arm

But more than that, the looks I care

She got to have herself a beautiful pair of legs

I Like the legs, you like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs

I Like the legs, you like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs

When I find me honey in a foreign port

We talked till dawn, I had her in my court

She whispers to me she'll never hurt me honey

Break my heart or take my money

I buy her mini skirt cause she looks so fine

I buy her high heeled shoes cause they drive a me wild

I take her out like that and watch the others

The don't look at the face, they don't look at the hair, they like the legs

They like the legs, you like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs

I Like the legs, you like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs

Now I'm a working man, I have to go to sea

But my sweetie says that she'll wait for me

The I come back sooner than she expect

She fix another man breakfast, sleep in my bed

You pulla my leg, you breaka my heart

You fool me honey from the very start

You touch my hand you hot my wire

but you cook my goose when you light his fire with your Legs

He touched the legs, I like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs

I Like the legs, you like the

We like the legs, they like the

Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs, Legs