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A new customer walks into the new store on the block that sells
brains. There are three glass cases, each containing a nice wet quivering gray
brain.
The first one says "Astrophysicist", and it costs $10.
The second says "Avon Salesman" and costs $1000.
The third says "Drummer" and costs $10,000.
The customer is confused, and questions the salesperson.
"I don't get it...why would I want a drummer's brain for $10,000 when
I can get an astrophysicists' for $10?".
The salesman replies, "Because it's never been used."
A lady walks into a store and tells the man behind the counter she
would like some musicians brains.
"Alright" he says, "What kind?".
"How much do they cost?" she asks.
"Well, those there are trumpeters at $5 a pound, those are French
horns at $7 a pound, and those are
conductors' at $10 a pound." He replies.
"What are those way back there?" she asks.
"Those are drummers brains. They cost $100 a pound", he replies.
"GOODNESS!!", she exclaims, "Why are they so
expensive?"
"Lady, do you realize how many drummers it takes to get a pound of
brains?!?!".
Two girls are walking along when they hear..."Psst! Down
here!" They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road.
The frog says to them, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world
famous drummer and make you both rich and
famous!"
The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and
grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her
pocket.
The other girl said, "What did you do that for?"
The first replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth
heaps more than a famous drummer any day!!!"
- A Drummer Buying An Instrument
A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn
how to play some "real" musical instruments.
He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says
"I'll take that red trumpet over there
and that accordion."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can
have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got
to stay".
- A Drummer In A Travel Agency
A guy walks into a shop.
"You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and
a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried
Rose tremulo?"
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"
"Duh, yeah. How'd you know?"
"This is a travel agency."
A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat
nears the island, he notices the constant
sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks
the first native he sees how long the
drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very
bad when the drumming stops."
At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get
on his nerves. So, he asks another native
when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been
reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very
bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.
After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveler is finally fed up,
grabs the nearest native, slams him up
against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming
stops?!!"
"Bass solo."
- A Drummer, The Easter Bunny & Santa Claus
If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter
Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time,
and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get
the money?
The drummer with bad time since the other three don't exist.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. Unlike he had expected, Heaven is
essentially a really long hallway with doors on
either side, each with a short IQ range listed on it. Inside, he learns,
the rooms are perfectly tailored so that the
conversation will match the intelligence of the people in them.
He opens the 170 door. "Well," comes the conversation
inside, "I've always found Fourier transforms to be a
rather limited way of interconverting what are fundamentally..."
SLAM. Too rich for him.
He heads down the hall a bit to the 115 zone and opens the door.
"I just read 'Generation X'," comes a voice,
"and though Coupland doesn't do too badly in identifying his
generation's fundamental angst, I was a bit confused
by..." SLAM. Not bad, but now the man was getting curious, and wanted
to see what was further down the
scale.
He tries 95. "Hey, did you read the paper today? Says interest
rates will go up again..." SLAM.
How about 60? "Huh. Thought 'Married With Children' last night
was pretty funny. Didn't get the bit about the
hooters, though..." SLAM. It was getting pretty bad.
He tried 35. The people inside were looking at one another and
drooling.
Finally, he came to the one marked with a 10. He hesitated, fearing
what he would see when he opened the
door. But he did, seeing only two guys inside.
"So," one said to the other, "What size sticks do you
use?"
Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I
can relate to anyone in this bar, I'm such a good
salesman."
The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the
guys."
"Ok," says the first, "you're on."
The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the
first salesman, "Here, this one." This first
subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week.
The salesman asks him, "What's your
IQ?" "190."
So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics,
and Non-Euclidean geometry.
"Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but
you still have two to go." He looks around and grabs a
guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The
salesman asks him "What's you're
IQ?"
"About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and
the various women in the bar.
"Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one to
go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really
scummy looking guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him
"What's your IQ?"
"About 60. What kind of sticks do you use?"
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